New York

Staying in New York has meant we haven't really felt too far away from home yet. It has been really nice staying with Aidan and his army of animals, and it is really hot here.

We have introduced him to Miranda on TV which they show on PBS and he hated it. We also watched a hot dog programme from 1999. We all hated that.

On our first night we went to see Alt-J at Glasslands in Brooklyn. They seem to be really popular here and have sold gigs out all around the city.

For the first time, we managed to visit Coney Island when it was a) busy and b) not freezing/raining/snowing. The old fairground rides like the Wonderwheel remind me of old-school Southend. We went to a freak show with sword-swallowers, fire-eaters and people lying on beds of nails. We are considering this as a career change.

Finally, we saw the Queen of Versailles which has been released in cinemas here. We missed it in London but it is so worth seeing.

Continuing with our high-culture theme, we went to a filming of the Jeremy Kyle Show. Normally, you would stay for two shows, but we stayed for four (mainly for the free pizza). We met some interesting people there, and many of the people in the audience were old. We ended up in the front row for all four shows, so look out for us on TV in September. Some notable quotes from the show:

- "that is a huge child. It weighs as much as I weigh now"
- (on being accused of stirring up drama on Facebook) "we two broke-ass motherfuckers from Omaha, we ain't got no Internet"

I'm pretty sure we got on film, maybe due to the OTT facial expressions we were pulling in reaction to the stories.

The same night, we went to a writers workshop. It was supposed to be in Bryant Park, but changed to the Mechanical Society due to an impending storm.

There were buckets of rain the next day. After walking to midtown in shorts and a backless t shirt, Simon decided I was not soaked enough and threw his drink over me (accidentally).

We have walked length and breadth of he island and spent some time walking along he Hudson river park, past the nutters running even though we could barely walk in the heat.

Speaking of which, we have seen a range of strange things. Notably, a woman on her bike, in a bikini, wearing a statue of Liberty hat. Anyway, what do I know? In a month this could be all the rage back home.

We were able to catch up with Simon's aunt, uncle and cousins in the city. It was really lovely to see them. We went to the Guggenheim with Harry, although he had to leave early.

On Harry's recommendation, we visited Shake Shack. This could be the sole cause of returning home 10 stone heavier. The food and shakes are amazing.

Yesterday, we walked a lot again. Simon wore his Dr Dre t shirt and managed to get 14 different people commenting on it (great shirt man, I love that album etc etc).

Today is our last full day and we went to the 9/11 memorial and are now sitting in a bakery in Williamsburg. This time tomorrow, we'll be en route to Chicago. To round up this entry, here is an Irish quote: "a joke is a joke but a stick stuck in a man's arse is no joke"